He's GONE..

HE IS GONE.

This guy with me in the picture is the first man I loved so much with all of my life. I loved him really and I still love him. That is why until now, I can't move-on. It hurts, so much to think that all of those things that we did for each other are gone. I did everything for him. We had our best and worst times together. I know him already, from inside and out. He's a kind of person that is really really hard to love but you will love to love him, especially when he loves you. Because when he does, he does everything for you. He doesn't think about himself, but about me all the time. I miss those moments that he was sleeping in my legs with his arms around my waist, staring at me while smiling and saying that he loves me so much. I miss those times that we eat our meals together and despite of all the trials of life, we can still laugh at the corner; never stop on making other feel how valuable he/she is. The time when he wore the ring on me while uttering the words, "I LOVE YOU". These words? They keep on whispering my ears, never refrained from making me long for him more and more.He was a funny kind of guy that though he's not talkative, you will enjoy his company. He loved me so much, I felt that. He always told me that he doesn't want to lose me and it's going to kill him. He did everything that could make me happy. From material to actual things, he was so sweet. He wanted to hold my hands always, when he held my hands, it was so tight that I can't even remove my hands from his. He didn't care if somebody sees us, if he wants to hug me; he does it sweetly and so tenderly. Even his parents did love me, they all showed me that they love me and they are always willing to help me. I was so happy, it was so perfect... 
Until now...
It's like a good dream that when I wake up, everything is so different yet the feeling is still there. Yes, I still love him so so so much! Our break up was the start of these miserable things that had happened to me. I still miss him and his memories. I think, those will remain in my heart forever because I will forever love him... maybe, though this time, maybe, he loves somebody else already.. Ouch, but, it's all my fault... i gave up, i didn't fight for him... i regret it... 
Part, mahal ko? Mahal parin talaga kita, I still love you and I miss you so much. Thanks for the moments you've shared with me, you became the most important person in my life and until now, you are still very important to me. You will always be my ONE and ONLY LOVE. I promised to love you forever, so I will love you forever... GOODBYE!

I couldn't hold, my tears now, I want to cry out loud. If only I could do that. I have nothing to say anymore, but two words: IT HURTS.

Cool off or Call off?

Whatever! It's not the main idea of what I am going to write now. Anyway, I miss you all. It's been a while since I opened my account and wrote my nonsense life here. Haha!

Speaking about 'nonsense', hmm. Maybe it is really a nonsense thing to start this blog with an emotional words. Like: OUCH! IT HURTS! HE's GONE! I LET HIM GO! And etchetera. NONSENSE! O.A.. right? But, ehemm. There are true.

To start with, I thank the man who hooked my heart for making me love him so much.

(IN TAGLISH ONLY, nahihirapan na akong mag-english)

Ganito kasi yan, one time, nagplan kaming magtexting the day after, at exactly 9:00am, dapat unli na kami. So, kinabukasan, well-prepared na talaga ako, (ako pa!!) but he was not. I wondered kung bakit past nine na, di pa xia nagtetext, so I called him using the *110 promo. And I found out that hindi pa pala xia nakapagload, medyo nainis ako.Nagstart nang magboil ang dugo ko. But he said na wait lang daw ako. Eh ang ako, dahil nainis na, hindi na nakapaghintay, I became a nagging gf. Ganun, nagalit xia. But before that, ako muna nagload sakanya kasi sabi niya di muna xia makapagload kasi wala ang parents niya. Then, ayun na. Nag-away na talaga kami. Umandar yung pagiging bossy niya at ako naman, yung pagiging nagger ko.

Hahai, dumating sa issue ng kwentahan, actually it's my fault. Accidentally, nasabihan ko xia sa text na, "AKO NAGLOAD SAU AH, DI KA BA NAHIYA SAKIN?", so lumabas na kinuwentahan ko xia sa lahat ng tulong ko. Nasaktan xia, nagalit. At di ko na talaga siya napigilan sa pag-burst out. Di na niya sinasagot tawag at texts ko that day. Ayoko ko talaga ng ganyan. So, nangulit ako, tapos ayun, palpak lahat2. Then, dumating ung time na depressed na talaga ako maxado, iyak ako ng iyak ng iyak. Sabi ko, magpapakamatay ko, infact, I meant it that moment. Alam niyo ba kung anong response niya? Tumahimik daw ako kasi O.A na daw ako, nasaktan ako maxado kaya nagdecide ako agad na tapusin na ung relationship namin, naputol pa talaga ung tawag. Before natapos ung call, cnabi ko sa kanya na hindi xia deserving at marami pa. Ayun, naubos na pera ko sa kaloload at napuputol lang. Ung iba, di niya sinasagot.

Yun na ang simula ng lahat, di na xia kumokontak sakin, di niya rin sinasagot tawag ko. Hanggang sa sabi niya, rest muna daw kami kasi pagod na daw xia. Maxado akong nasaktan. Every word he said, nasaktan ako. Sobrang sakit. Kaya yun na.. Hanggang ngayon, di pa talaga kami nagkabalikan. Maxadong naging miserable ung everyday ko. But he's there whenever I need him, tumtawag ako sakanya. Yun nga lang, wala ng sweet words. Hahai..

Lord, sana maayos na to.. Mahal ko pa kasi siya talaga..

Sa nakabasa nito.. Whatever your reaction is, I dont care.. Kaya nga blog ko to ehh.. Well, salamat naang sa effort.. Wag niyo gagayahin ginawa ko ha?? BAD yan..

PAALAM!!