For My Dearest Mother

September 12, 2009
Saturday

Dear Mama,

Have a good day!!

How are you this time ma? I really really hope that you are just fine. How's your cough ma? Are feeling well already? Don't you know that I miss you so much, ma?

Ma, thank you so much for being the best mom in the world, huh? I am very lucky because you are my mom, I'm so blessed that you bore me as your daughter, hehe.

Ma, I am sorry for all the lapses that i have done to you. I have hurt your heart ma, I am so so sorry. I never realized how much it would tear your heart, but ma, I regret that I have done it to you. I love you ma, very much. This time, I promise to be eager in my studies because I want you to be very proud of me.

Thank you ma, for all the sacrifices you have made. Even though papa is not here, you still found a way to save us, to bring us to school and up to college. I really treat that as a great debt of gratitude ma, I owe you a lot of things in my life.

Ma, please get well soon? I'll be praying for you. I want to see you again and I want that in that time, you are already well. I don't want you sick, I'm hurt also.

I love you so much ma!!

Very very much!!

Until here ma.

Your daughter,
Taktak

Him or him?

My life turned around him.

He was my all.

I've given all i can give.

But, I'm left no choice but to let him go.

From the moment I have accepted Christ as my Personal Savior, I had the desire to grow up, to be mature in my spiritual life. I struggled so hard, I tried my best. And now, I have what I have desired. I am now a good messenger of Christ.

I loved him so much. I did all the things he told me to do. Sometimes, unreasonable but still I tried. I sacrificed a lot of things for him. Now that we're apart, we have been like dogs and cats, we always have conflict. I always cry. He became CRUEL.

HE loved me. HE has given me all I wanted. Protected me and my family. Healed my heart every time I'm hurt and most of all, HE gave me the chance to be what I really want, an Evangelist.

He never supported my desire to grow up in Christ. He forbade me to go to our ministry and to come with my friends to a bible study. He became my reason to sin. He's a hindrance, not an inspiration to my want to become what HE wants me to be.

Which shall I prefer? Whom shall I give my heart and LIFE?

To him that gives me a temporary happiness and permanent and endless tears or to HIM Who is the real source of my true joy and my heart healer, the One who really cares..

WHO??

Obviously, HIM, GOD..

I know it's too hard but I have to, and I know that HE knows the best for me..