How We Celebrated Our 13th Monthsary

Last night, it was already 11:30 when i slept because i was preparing the message i am going to send to him, and it was successful. I prayed then slept.

There was like a bomb that woke me up this morning. I suddenly got up and checked my cellphone if ever he texted me first, but i failed. Still, i sent the message i prepared last night and i followed it up with an instruction about our activities this day, i said: "by 12, u'll be receiving P10 worth of load and register after by texting 10 to 258.." not just that, "i love you very much, part.." ended the message.

I took a bath so early because we are going to church and we had to fetch my ate ayza to go with us. I was so happy that time because I really felt God's grace inside me, until afternoon, i was reading the book "Book of Hope" which is about Jesus' Story and other advices, when he texted me that we can already have our chatting which we planned for few days already. And i went to an internet cafe' and logged in, i prayed just right before we started. But the internet access in the internet cafe' he was in was logging and my tempered bursted up! I got angry. I logged out and called him, i scolded at him and found his phone unattended everytime i try to call. Until this very time, i can't contact him. It hurts me so much.

I wonder very much..

What is happening to us?

Are we fading away?

If yes, this will be my third heartache, the same reason: distant relationship..

i warned myself about this one but i couldn't avoid falling for him. However, I still hope for him, I know God has plans, He's my only hope.. Because I know, He wants the best for me..