MINE to HERS

 I am totally broken..

 This time, I don't know what to do. I wanna cry, I wanna scream.. I even want to kill myself.. But oooopppsss.. Before that, I wanna state the story first so that you may understand why I am behaving this way..

He said he wanted a break, a rest. So I did. After our break-up, though I tried my very best to save our relationship, I gave him enough time and space so he can have refreshments and forgive me after that.

But that is not what has happened. One time, one morning, I was very shocked when I have received a text from an unknown number. I was prepared to go to school that time. The text said that I was the reason why their family were fighting. I reviewed the text message once again, and I found out, it came from him. I was totally freaked out so I decided to call him.. and i did.. I told him that I didn't do anything.. and he said, "Fine, from now on, don't contact me and my parents.." and he hung the phone. I cried and cried after that, I can't admit that he said those words to me, knowing that he's been so sweet..

After, I went to school and I was late. But I still entered our room at the middle of the class.

Then, when the lecture ended, I went to my sister's house to visit my niece. And then, he texted me saying, "Call please.." Worried about what happened to him, I did call. I noticed that he cried before I called.. obvious to his voice.. then, the call ended.. what he told me was he's sorry for his misbehavior, and i said it's fine..

I texted him if what is the reason why he's crying.. u now, i thought we're going to be fine until he said that we're just friends.. it's fine though it hurts a bit.. I insisted to call him again, and I did..

U know what? I asked him if he has someone new, and he said, "HONESTLY? YES."

'GUMUHO ang MUNDO ko..'

I couldn't believe it. That very moment, I want to bang my head on the concrete wall. And I did.. I wasn't contented, so I punched the wall. It was very very painful. And he said, "SORRY.".. and I asked him why.. he won't answer.. I asked if he loves her, he wont answer..

Three months..

I was asking for atleast three months to move-on before finding someone new.. I can't really understand why he did it to me.. I know I got a mistake but I was so so so so sorry for it.. My heart was bleeding, crying for help.. but nobody was there to help me but my sister whom I hugged.

IT HURT A LOT..

and IT STILL HURTING..

How can he do this me? Why that easy? After all the things we did for each other?

But, what comforts me a lot is the thought that when God takes something special from u, surely he will replace someone better.. the God's Will.. but it still hurts.. it became insanely painful when I saw his friendster, he changed his password, primary pictures, erased our album, and the details about himself? He changed the names into SHEM, which was previously mine. PAINFUL, isn't it? He is cruel.

Anyway, I can do nothing about it. He's over me. No matter how I cry, It won't affect him. What I can do now is to trust the Lord for his plan is always the best for me.

For him?..

PART, until now I am bearing the pain, I have forgiven u but I would never ever forget what you did to me.. when I move-on, let's talk.. I now someday, I will be coming there.. I will make sure that there is pain no more.. but lastly, i hope that u will find ur happiness to her, the permanent one..

Until here..

GOD, HELP ME PLEASE..